12 Comments
User's avatar
Allan White - Dyspraxic Lens's avatar

Wow, that's quite a story. Nervous system dysregulation and shutdown are very real and have consequences nobody would ever imagine. Sounds like you've come a long way but the work in healing and staying at a better place is never fully completed. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure this will connect with many people. This is very important work that you're doing.

The last time I had a really bad nervous system breakdown, most of my consequences were mental and psychological. My speech was often so circumstantial and incoherent that people couldn't make sense of what I was saying half the time. And I would have episodes of detachment and derealization where I literally felt like my body was controlled by some outside agent.

Expand full comment
Divergent Talent Alchemist-Jen's avatar

Thanks for being vulnerable and relatable and sharing your story, too! The more we talk about this, the better off we all are. Grateful for your friendship!

Expand full comment
Allan White - Dyspraxic Lens's avatar

No problem. Yep we need to work towards destigmatizing mental health. So grateful for your friendship too.

Expand full comment
Jai's avatar

I am glad you survived Jen. True testament to your resilience.

I hope your nightmare recedes as the timing of your 'traumaversary' passes.

💜

Expand full comment
Divergent Talent Alchemist-Jen's avatar

Thanks for your unwavering support, Jai! 💜💜

Expand full comment
Seeking Authenticity's avatar

Thank you for continuing to share your struggles. I relate to trying to be appropriate even when you are in pain and being anxious beyond words. When I worked in medical education, I joked that I would never willingly go to a hospital.

In August 2018, I went to the doctor with a temperature of 104. I was given an antibiotic shot and rolled off the table (technically they should be observing you). Thank goodness I landed on my bum and the Nurse Practitioner ran into the room to a very startled me. Within the hour, I was on a gurney in the ER. I felt so bad I didn't care, I just wanted to feel better. I was shocked to learn that I was going to be admitted since I had a kidney infection and was close to having sepsis. I was so scared the first night I barely moved. Like you I had a heart monitor and an IV going. Work stress had gotten to me in a big way. I barely got any support from my family or work. 3 days later I was ready to leave within 5 minutes of being told I could go home.

I learned a very important lesson. There is no amount of money or job worth your health and to listen to my body.

My "trauma dream" is teaching school and feeling the overwhelm of being responsible for so much with so few tools. I am grateful for learning how to take a lot better care of myself.

Expand full comment
Divergent Talent Alchemist-Jen's avatar

That is so scary what you experienced. And you are so strong for sharing and for being you!

Expand full comment
Seeking Authenticity's avatar

Thank you. I didn't even mention that I shared a room with a young female who had tried to kill herself. This was very traumatic given my Dad did the same thing but succeeded. I was not able to sleep much less advocate for myself to be put in a different room.

Expand full comment
Divergent Talent Alchemist-Jen's avatar

I am so sorry Amy. This is something that is hard to process and live with every day I am sure. Do you have a good support system? <3

Expand full comment
Seeking Authenticity's avatar

My support system is improving. The whole situation illustrated how little my family cares for me. I asked my sister who lives 2 hours away to come if I am ever hospitalized again. She didn't even get it.

Expand full comment
Julia R. Wild's avatar

Thanks for remembering to tag me for the answer. I hate it when work is a warzone..this is so accuate🩷

Expand full comment
Divergent Talent Alchemist-Jen's avatar

💜💜

Expand full comment