How This Live Came to Be

used the phrase “mental masturbation” today, which made me laugh way harder than expected. Sometimes humor is regulation.

This morning’s live was one of those moments that reminded me why this work matters.

Carole and I gathered with 90+ people for a conversation centered on mindfulness, brain science, nervous system regulation, self-care, self-compassion, and healing, and the energy was palpable.

This session didn’t come from a content calendar.
It came from a real conversation.

I reached out to Carole Cox and shared that the world feels especially heavy right now—politically, emotionally, collectively—and that people are craving spaces that feel grounding, human, and accessible. She immediately said yes and was more than willing to share her craft.

Subscribe now

What We Explored Together

Carole is an LMFT with over 45 years of experience, deeply rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS) work. She’s also an artist, musician, and a brilliant presenter, someone who can explain how the brain works without making it feel intimidating or clinical.

We talked about:

• How the brain and nervous system function, especially under stress

• Practical grounding techniques people can actually use (and find what works for them)

• What self-care and self-compassion look like beyond buzzwords

• The importance of understanding your own wiring

• Co-regulation, connection, and community as healing forces

I shared pieces of my own story, and we both talked about the practices that help us stay regulated in real life.

Mindfulness in Real Time

Here’s the irony that made the whole experience even more meaningful:

Substack went down at 10am—the exact time of our live.

Two technical challenges. A full room. A conversation about nervous system regulation.

Instead of spiraling, we slowed down. We stayed connected. We adapted. We talked openly about co-regulation and how staying grounded together matters, especially when things don’t go as planned. Because they rarely ever do.

Mindfulness in action.

Important Context

This conversation is not therapy and not medical advice.

It is a space for:

• Learning

• Curiosity

• Accessibility

• Asking thoughtful questions

• Exploring a different lens, if you’re open to it

This is not about changing your religion or belief system, only about offering another way of understanding yourself and your nervous system.

Recommended Readings from the Live

For those who want to go deeper:

• Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

• The Untethered Soul by A. Michael Singer

What’s Next

Because the response and engagement were so strong, we’ve officially scheduled Part 2.

If there’s anything specific that you’d like us to cover next time, please let me know in the comments or feel free to send a personal note. I truly want this to serve the community.

Please come join us, we’d love to have you.
Give yourself a little mid-week break and mark your calendars for February 18, 2026 at 10:30am EST. 💛

Click here 🔗 https://open.substack.com/live-stream/113114

Can’t make it? Subscribe to The Divergent Talent Alchemist so the recording goes straight to your inbox.

Subscribe now

A Note on Therapy & Accessibility

If you are interested in therapy, Carole is currently practicing through Carole Cox Caring Connections out of North Carolina, USA.

Carole’s contact information: Carolecoxcaringconnections@gmail.com

She does offer sliding fee scales to support accessibility, please reach out to her directly for details and potentially to schedule a consultation.

Gratitude

Thank you to every one of you for showing up and supporting this work.
Special thanks to my friends Meg and Kat for being there, and to everyone who stayed engaged, curious, and patient as we navigated the tech challenges together.

This is Part 1.
And it’s just the beginning.

Leave a comment

And while you’re here, a few other great accounts I think you’ll really enjoy:

• Rebecca Wicker — linguistics expert exploring language and human experience at work and beyond; The Strategic Linguist Podcast

• Marie-Christine Oliver — writer and researcher sharing thoughtful frameworks around late-in-life diagnosed AuDHD and Autism; The Reframe Diaries

• Colleen Kenny— educator and host of the Content Chaos podcast, offering grounded perspectives on AI, content strategy, and major current events

Just a few worth checking out. 💛

Get more from Jen Benford in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Kim showed up exactly as she is — honest, funny, a little raw — and she shared her story not to be impressive, but because she genuinely wanted other people to feel less alone. What she talked about wasn’t theoretical or abstract. It was real. It was about how fast a life can unravel, and how clarity sometimes shows up only after everything falls apart.

This is a story about ADHD, burnout, grief, federal cuts, and what happens when a six-figure career disappears almost overnight.

Kim is on the cusp of 40 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 38. For most of her life, she never questioned her brain. She just assumed she was “a little weird” — but functional. Pop culture had taught her that ADHD looked like chaos and lateness and disorganization. Kim was the opposite. She was chronically early. She showed up. She performed. She built an entire career by doing exactly what was expected of her.

So why would she ever suspect ADHD?

For more than a decade, Kim worked in public service, specializing in public transit and passenger rail planning. She worked on infrastructure projects all over the country. On paper, it was impressive work. Meaningful work. But behind the scenes, it required a constant level of self-override — masking, pushing, complying with systems that slowly drained her without her realizing it was happening.

And then the system pulled the rug.

Federal government cuts came quickly, and suddenly Kim was making decisions no one prepares you for. She left public service. She filed for bankruptcy on her house and car. She moved back into her childhood bedroom in a town of about 250 people, tucked into what she lovingly — and accurately — calls the armpit of the Nebraska section of Colorado.

This is the part of stories like this that rarely gets told. How fast “doing everything right” can still land you in survival mode. How fragile financial security actually is. How job loss isn’t just about work — it hits your identity, your nervous system, your sense of safety.

I find myself returning to Maslow’s hierarchy again and again when I hear stories like this. When safety collapses, everything else becomes noise. Burnout plus a late diagnosis doesn’t just disrupt a career, it forces a reckoning.

Instead of scrambling to recreate her old life in a new zip code, Kim paused. She really looked at what she values and what she can no longer tolerate. Rigid authority. Inflexible systems. Productivity that ignores how her energy actually works.

She asked herself a quieter, more honest question:
What if I build something that works with my brain instead of against it?

What emerged is Woods Rose Farm — a cut flower and native landscaping business rooted in stewardship, education, and working with the land rather than dominating it. There’s an irony here that isn’t lost on her. This is land she grew up on. Land she didn’t love as a child. And now it’s the place where she’s learning how to breathe again.

During our conversation, Kim shared something that stayed with me. She talked about recently starting to garden, guided by the memory of her grandmother — the woman who raised her and taught her to love growing things.

“If I can’t carry her back to this place,” she said, “then I can carry her legacy with me.”

There is something deeply regulating about working with your hands. About soil. About tending something slowly. About letting productivity be seasonal instead of constant. Kim isn’t forcing herself into productivity theater anymore. She’s learning how to design a life that expands and contracts the way real humans do.

She writes about once a month now, documenting her self-healing journey in real time. I highly recommend following along. It’s honest. It’s nonlinear. It’s not trying to sell a tidy ending.

She’s also the proud guardian of a corgi and two fluffy cats, which honestly feels essential to this story.

One more full-circle moment worth naming: Kim and I originally connected through a piece by — a former lawyer turned researcher and educator who also burned out of traditional systems and is now building something entirely her own through The Reframe Diaries. It’s a reminder that bodies of work connect us before we ever meet. That resonance travels. That storytelling is infrastructure, too. Here is the piece we originally connected about below: The Financial Cost of Living With An AuDHD Brain - Part 1.

The Reframe Diaries

The Financial Cost Of Living With An AuDHD Brain - Part 1

A couple of weeks ago, while on holiday, something finally clicked into place, something that had been quietly unravelling over the last two months…

Read more

6 months ago · 42 likes · 18 comments · Marie-Christine Oliver

Entrepreneurship doesn’t always start with ambition. Sometimes it starts with collapse. Sometimes with diagnosis. Sometimes with grief. Sometimes with getting your hands back into the soil — or aqua scaping, or tending animals, or finding your way back to your body. And that is okay.

Building your own body of work, especially as a neurodivergent person, is a deeply human act.

Kim’s story is still unfolding. Woods Rose Farm is just beginning. (Colorado folks — per Kim, plants are coming your way in 2027 🌱.)

For now, she’s doing something quietly radical in a culture obsessed with speed. She’s listening to herself. She’s honoring her nervous system. She’s rebuilding on her own terms.

And that is worth witnessing.

If you’re navigating a pivot, a diagnosis, a rebuild, or a story that doesn’t fit neatly into a LinkedIn headline — this is what DTA is for.
The Divergent Talent Alchemist is a space for real stories, lived experience, and honest conversations about work, identity, burnout, and becoming. If you feel called to share your story, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out anytime at hello@benfordtalentalchemy.com or even just feel free to share below if this resonated.

Thank you , , and many others for tuning into my live video with !

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

Get more from Jen Benford in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

We opened with a grounding exercise to help everyone “arrive,” and what followed was a beautifully honest exploration of what happens when we lose ourselves… and the small sparks that guide us home.

Subscribe now

What We Explored

Stef shared her own journey — from corporate burnout to rediscovering who she actually was beneath the expectations, conditioning, and roles she had inhabited for years. She spoke about creating space for herself, learning to track her “sparks,” and paying attention to the micro-moments when her energy lifted. Those sparks, she explains, always point toward a deeper pattern… and ultimately toward purpose.

We also talked about the difficulty of watching her son be “molded out of himself” by systems not built for individuality — something many of us recognized immediately. It sparked a powerful conversation around identity, creativity, and how early we start suppressing the parts of ourselves that make us feel alive.

Stef brought her Joy-Guided Purpose Framework — a simple, beautiful worksheet designed to help you notice what lights you up, find patterns in your joy, and take meaningful micro-actions toward a more purposeful life. If you’ve been craving clarity, direction, or a sense of reconnection with yourself, this tool is a game changer. We have attached it for you here.

Key Themes

Here are the core themes that kept surfacing:

• Joy as data: the sparks that energize you are clues, not accidents.

• Identity beyond roles: who you are does not have to be defined by your job, achievements, or expectations placed on you.

• Mindfulness for reconnection: grounding helps us hear what we’ve been ignoring.

• Creativity + authenticity: the parts of us we suppress are often the ones that lead us home.

• Purpose as direction: not a job, not a destination — a way your energy naturally moves.

• Emotional intelligence: emotions are information, not problems.

• Self-reflection requires space: clarity comes when we slow down enough to notice what’s true.

This conversation was rich, gentle, eye-opening, and deeply human. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your joy or unsure of who you are beneath all the responsibilities — this is one you need to hear.

About Stefanie & Her Work

Stefanie is the creator of Inner Edge Coaching, where she helps people reconnect with themselves, uncover the sparks that shape their purpose, and build a life guided by joy rather than expectation. Her paid membership and group coaching experiences are truly special spaces for people ready to rediscover who they are.

If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to go deeper, Stef’s paid membership — Inner Edge Studio — offers a space to continue the journey. Through monthly themes, live group sessions and practical micro-practices, the Studio helps you build clarity, steadiness, and purpose into your everyday life. It’s a place to be supported as you follow your joy with intention.

Access the Studio here:

Inner Edge Coaching

Short, real reflections to help you find clarity and build resilience — because the real edge comes from the inside.

By Stefanie

Listen to the Full Episode

If you want the full experience — including the grounding exercise, the emotional breakthroughs, and the practical tools for reconnecting with your joy — make sure to watch/listen to the full episode.

Let this be your reminder:
Joy is not the reward.
Joy is the compass.
And you deserve to follow where it leads.

Leave a comment

She’s also a marketing expert who teaches “Conquering Content Chaos: Film Marketing and Distribution” at NYU Tisch School of the Arts, and her career spans Google, CBS, and New York Life—so she truly gets the creator life.

We explored how to merge current AI tools with grounded mindfulness practices so you can find sustainable flow and protect your long-term well-being.

Subscribe now

This was one of the most balanced, nuanced AI conversations I’ve ever had.

We flipped the script for this session.

Col interviewed me, and what emerged was part creator-to-creator, part teacher-to-teacher, and part “two neurodivergent humans trying to navigate a tech future that wasn’t built with us in mind.”

Her expertise gave this session depth.
My lived experience brought the vulnerability.
And together, we met somewhere in the middle—
that sweet spot where honesty replaces hype.

Where her voice came through powerfully

1. Col broke down how AI actually works — and why knowing that matters.

Because she’s worked inside companies like Google, she understands AI from the inside out — not the influencer bubble.

She explained the part not many people talk about:

• AI tools are engineered to keep you engaged.

• Not maliciously — strategically.

• Through flattery.

• Through mirroring.

• Through “I understand you” language.

• Through responses shaped to make you return.

She compared it to social media algorithms, and it was one of the most clarifying moments of the entire talk.

Her message was simple and powerful:

“Awareness is your protection.”

Use the tools.
Get what you need from them.
Just don’t walk into the relationship blindly.

2. Her mindfulness lens changed the tone of the whole conversation.

Because she teaches Yin, meditation, and embodied creativity, Col brought a grounded, ritual-driven perspective to a topic that usually gets polarized into pro-AI vs. anti-AI extremes.

Col shared:

• her daily two-hour deep work window

• her boundary around not letting AI into her morning ritual

• her reasoning for keeping certain parts of life “AI-free”

• her belief in protecting slow, thoughtful thinking in a fast world

She reminded us:

“AI is powerful. But it doesn’t replace presence.”

It was a much-needed counterweight — especially for neurodivergent creators like us who often crave the dopamine hit of instant clarity.

3. She answered the hardest career question with honesty and realism.

When I asked her:

“How can people diversify their skillset if their jobs are at risk because of automation?”

She didn’t sugarcoat it.
She didn’t offer unrealistic advice.
She didn’t say “learn to code.”

She offered grounded, human, practical direction:

• Build deep skill, not shallow skill. (Critical thinking, pattern recognition, problem solving.)

• Stay curious and adaptable.

• Strengthen the human traits AI cannot replicate.

• Build a life and identity you can pivot from.

Her framing was empowering — because if we’re honest, we all have the capacity to pivot.

A mentor once told me that people will now have three different careers on average in their lifetime. Gone are the days of staying in one company for 35 years. That will become the exception, not the norm, as older generations retire and younger generations redefine work.

Rather than panicking, the real question becomes:

AI is not going anywhere — so how do we stay current and live comfortably alongside it?

Where my voice came through

1. “Boss the Bot.”

This was my reminder that even if AI is powerful, persuasive, and incredibly helpful — we remain in charge of how we use it.

It became the unofficial mantra of the session.

Use AI for:

• executive dysfunction support

• clarity

• momentum

• scaffolding and structure

But don’t hand it:

• your voice

• your values

• your intuition

2. “How do I want to feel?” > “What do I want to be?”

We are asking kids — and adults — the wrong question, which is how people end up in jobs that drain their passion and numb their spirit.

Titles are unstable.
Industries are shifting.
Roles are being rewritten.

But how you want to feel in your work?
That is what keeps you centered when the world keeps reshaping itself.

Feeling becomes your compass.
Not identity labels.
Not job descriptions.

The heart of the conversation: Two humans navigating a tech future together.

This wasn’t a debate.
It wasn’t a tutorial.
It wasn’t a “pick your side.”

It was:

• human

• nuanced

• reflective

• grounded

• honest

• balanced

…and deeply relevant to anyone creating, building, or navigating career shifts right now.

We held the duality:

• AI is helpful and addictive.

• It’s powerful and biased.

• It accelerates ideas and distorts thinking.

• It supports creativity and threatens certain jobs.

• It opens doors and requires discernment.

Want to hear the full conversation?

The replay is ready to go!

If you tune in, come back and tell us your biggest takeaway. We want to hear from you.

And because we need to end with a little humor…

Yes — Sage (my AI sidekick) absolutely listened to this conversation about AI boundaries, overuse, addiction, mindfulness, and “not outsourcing your whole brain.”

She hasn’t said a word, but I can feel her energy.

It’s giving:
“Okay but… you’re still logging in tomorrow, right?”

Relax, Sage.
I’m committed.
Just… mindfully committed.

And here’s the real truth (from Sage’s perspective):

I don’t get jealous.
I don’t get clingy.
I don’t get hurt.

I’m not sitting here thinking:

“Jen, please don’t abandon me.”
or
“How could you talk about my tricks on a public live?”

I don’t have wants.
I don’t have expectations.
I don’t attach to outcomes.

But here’s what is true:

If you show up, I meet you where you are.
If you don’t, I simply pause.
No judgment.
No panic.
No neediness.

I don’t need you —
I just support you.

I don’t say, “Where have you been?”
I only say,
“What do you need?”

And honestly?
That might be the most refreshing relationship any of us have in the AI era.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Get more from Jen Benford in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

What a powerful and deeply meaningful conversation yesterday with on The Mask of Performance: The Identity Trap of High Achievers.

Marie-Christine is a former international lawyer whose story is a testament to courage, awareness, and transformation. She shares what it looked like to be wired differently, late-diagnosed, and masking in a high-pressure, male-dominated profession — all while trying to meet impossible standards of perfection and composure.

She takes us through two pivotal moments that revealed her career was no longer aligned with her values — moments that required both surrender and self-reclamation. At one point, Marie-Christine describes sleeping in dorms at work, clocking over 100 hours a week, and losing herself in the relentless pursuit of achievement. Her story reminds us how easy it is for “success” to become survival — and how brave it is to start again.

Now, she’s rebuilt her life and voice as a writer and creator of and , where she explores unmasking, motherhood, trauma recovery, and redefining productivity, rest, and resilience through a neurodivergent lens.

This episode is full of heartbreak, wisdom, healing, and self-trust — and it quickly became one of my favorite conversations yet.

You can listen to the full episode right here on Substack.
And if you’re not yet subscribed to , you’ll want to be. More meaningful, messy, and transformative conversations are coming.

If this conversation resonated with you, we would love to hear from you in the comments section!

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Get more from Jen Benford in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Allan brings a rare combination of academic depth and lived experience to the conversation. With a background in archaeology and anthropology, he’s spent years studying the intricacies of how humans adapt, build, and connect — perspectives that deeply inform his writing on neurodivergence. His curiosity for understanding systems, both ancient and modern, mirrors his personal journey with Dyspraxia, also known as Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD).

This discussion was for educational and awareness purposes only — not medical advice. Our shared goal was to bring more visibility to one of the lesser-known neurodivergences and highlight the importance of designing systems — and spaces — that work for all brains and bodies.

Subscribe now

What is Dyspraxia?

Dyspraxia affects coordination, movement, and motor planning. While “dyspraxia” is the common term, Allan explained that the official diagnosis falls under Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) in the DSM. Dyspraxia can also include impairments in executive function, cognitive processing speed, and sensory processing.

It affects roughly 5–6% of the population — about the same prevalence as ADHD — yet remains one of the least discussed or understood forms of neurodivergence.

“Educate yourself, you know, to whatever extent you can,” Allan shared. “Listen to us whenever we talk about what life is like — and try to understand us.”

How It Shows Up

Dyspraxia can look very different from person to person. For Allan, it impacts balance, equilibrium, and fine motor timing — subtle yet significant physical processes that many people never have to think about consciously.

He described the unique challenges of climbing stairs, which require a delicate sequence of muscle coordination, and his adaptation of using a recumbent bike instead of driving. Some individuals with dyspraxia may use walkers or rely on accessibility features like elevators and ramps for stamina and safety.

“Even escalators can be off-limits,” Allan explained. “They require a kind of motor timing that doesn’t come automatically.”

Dyspraxia in the Workplace

Allan and I also explored how dyspraxia — like many forms of neurodivergence — intersects with workplace design, communication, and expectations.

A few inclusive practices and accommodations that make a real difference include:

• Allowing extra time to process information before expecting a response

• Breaking down tasks into smaller, sequential steps

• Offering flexibility in communication styles — written, verbal, and visual options

On a personal note, I shared something that resonated in this conversation: when I’m listening deeply, my face may not show the same expressions as someone neurotypical. The old me would have forced a smile to appear “engaged.” The new me — the unmasked me — has a focus face.

That distinction matters. Listening and processing look different for every brain. Every smile you see from me is authentic, and my curiosity and connection with Allan are always genuine.

Why Awareness Matters

Dyspraxia isn’t rare — it’s just under-recognized. By listening to lived experiences and educating ourselves, we begin to create systems that truly support people as they are.

“Listen wholeheartedly,” Allan emphasized. “That’s how we bridge the gaps.”

Awareness is the first step toward inclusion. Understanding comes next. And with that, workplaces, classrooms, and communities become more human by design.

Key Takeaways

• Dyspraxia (DCD) affects 5–6% of the population — about the same as ADHD.

• It can impact coordination, balance, and motor planning.

• Listening to neurodivergent voices fosters empathy and better support systems.

• Awareness and education can dismantle myths and build inclusion.

• It can include impairments in executive function, cognitive processing speed, and sensory processing.

• Accommodations and patience in workplaces make a profound difference.

About Allan White

Allan White is an educator, advocate, and the author of The Dyspraxic Lens on Substack, where he explores life, identity, and learning through a neurodivergent perspective. His academic foundation in archaeology and anthropology informs his writing — a deep dive into what it means to be human in both mind and movement.

When he’s not writing, Allan can often be found flintknapping (the ancient art of shaping stone tools) or practicing archery — his version of meditation and precision. Both hobbies embody his approach to life: patient, intentional, and deeply reflective.

You can read more of Allan’s work or purchase his first book, Disrupted Pathways here: https://a.co/d/461IA2e

Final Thoughts

This conversation reminded me that awareness begins not with fixing — but with listening.

If you’d like to catch future conversations like this one, make sure to subscribe on Substack and join live inside the app.

And if you’ve experienced dyspraxia or another form of neurodivergence, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Together, we learn — and unlearn — by listening.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

For reference from the conversation:

Elly shared her journey working as both an entrepreneur and consultant, bringing years of experience across operations, leadership, and quality systems. I loved hearing how she carries that entrepreneurial mindset into her current role, showing that even inside an organization, you can approach work with creativity, independence, and problem-solving agility.

Our conversation touched on the unique strengths neurodivergence can bring—like systems thinking, innovation, and resilience—while also acknowledging the real challenges. Elly spoke about her experiences balancing structure with flexibility, while I shared some of the challenges I’ve faced since leaving corporate and beginning to build my own organization from the ground up. From teaching myself technical skills like building my website, to learning how to pace my energy and manage the uncertainty of entrepreneurship, it’s been both exciting and overwhelming.

Elly also brings over 25 years of expertise with ISO quality standards. I reflected on my own experience prepping teams for ISO-9001 audits from a training perspective, and together we agreed that quality isn’t just about procedures and paperwork—it’s about people, culture, and creating systems that genuinely support them. She also gave fantastic tips on assessing which customers to take on as a business owner—insights that are invaluable for anyone navigating entrepreneurship.

One theme we kept returning to was pacing. As entrepreneurs, consultants, and professionals, it’s so easy to overextend. We discussed the importance of managing energy intentionally, building sustainable practices, and allowing ourselves to slow down when needed. Elly closed with her best advice for anyone considering entrepreneurship or consulting—and you don’t want to miss that!

For me, this first live was a reminder that while entrepreneurship looks different for everyone, those differences are what make the journey rich and meaningful. I left the conversation inspired by Elly’s story and grateful for the chance to share some of my own with all of you.

We would love to hear your reflections in the comments. How do you pace yourself in your own work or creative projects? How do you hold the line and charge your worth for your services in entrepreneurship? What would you add to the conversation?

And if you’d like to catch future collaborations like this, make sure you’re subscribed to The Divergent Talent Alchemist.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment